OkCupid, day 10.
Omfg you guys. PICKUP ARTISTS.
In case you’re like me, and you’ve been married for over a decade and this whole dating thing is already way over your head, let me explain the pickup artist.
Pickup Artists, or PUAs, are guys that set out to seduce women, using principles of seduction they have learned from mentors in the PUA community. Because yes, THERE IS A PUA COMMUNITY.
And get excited, because I’ve spent the last few days down that rabbit hole.
These guys spend time AND money learning how to improve their “game.” And they use the term “game” in all seriousness. There are workshops and conferences, YouTube training videos, forums and boot camps. It’s like the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University but if Dave Ramsey were making a fortune teaching guys how to accumulate “pussy” instead of wealth. IT IS INSANE.
I first became aware of the PUA tactics when I posted this picture on tumblr:
I got several replies from other women on Twitter who had received THE EXACT SAME OPENING LINE. It’s insane enough that one person would use this opener. But three or four?
jaesalinas quickly googled the first line, and was directed to the web site for Real Social Dynamics http://www.rsdnation.com/. And that’s when shit got real. This is just one of many PUA training sites. As of this post, RSD claims to have 142,046 active members. And their training materials include what they like to call the Apocalypse Opener:
I was 100% right when I said these guys were plagiarizing pickup lines. Even better, they’re plagiarizing terrible pickup lines. They’re like the kid in class who is so lost that he can’t even tell he’s cheating off of someone as dumb as he is. My favorite is the advice for if the lady asks how many people you’ve tried this on:
I don’t know about you, but I will never read the phrase haha or lol the same way again. It’s starting to sound like some serial killer shit tbqh.
One PUA posted a testimonial on how well the RSD immersion program worked for him. (That’s right, he went to Vegas to learn this.)
WHERE TO BEGIN. Okay, first of all, this guy spent money to go learn how to get laid from a guy named Todd in Vegas. MY MIND IS REELING. I looked up the price for just the basic boot camp. Are you ready?
THREE DAYS FOR $2,000. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. I CAN’T.
Secondly, I had to google the word sarge and omfg I can’t even.
Thirdly, this dude put on a mic and had someone film him while he practiced the art of pickup, and then had Todd review it with him. To be fair, for the money, I would certainly hope Todd is providing one-on-one instruction. But how does this work? I mean, what if your stupid pickup line actually gets a girl to sleep with you? Do you run to bathroom and ditch the wire? Unless you’re an undercover cop, THIS IS INSANE BEHAVIOR.
And finally, HIS GAME HAS IMPROVED BY 150% HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE I CALL BS ON THIS. Wait. Actually, everyone’s game improves by 150% in Vegas. It’s called alcohol. So that might be accurate.
It’s no wonder the world of online dating is such a clusterfuck. DATING IN GENERAL IS A CLUSTERFUCK. There are people out there who not only think fucking a lot of women is going to help them gain self-esteem, but also that Todd is the one who can help them with it. PUAs are at best gullible halfwits with money to blow, and at worst straight-up sociopaths. What they do isn’t art. And despite what Todd wants you to think, it isn’t a science. It’s a con. It’s gross. It’s creepy. It teaches men with low self-esteem to prey on women with low self-esteem. It’s a black hole of morality.
Hey dudes: women aren’t interested in your game. Be a human being.